As Emmett and I were driving to work yesterday (we both
work at a local restaurant called Roux), we were talking about how surreal it
still is that we are living in Alabama.
We’ve only been here just over a month, so I suppose it’s not that odd
that we should still be scratching our heads and asking what the heck
happened. How is it that we ended up in
Montgomery, Alabama (of all places) from Plymouth, Massachusetts (or
Master-two-shits as they call it down here)?
I can safely say that one year ago, or even six months ago, Montgomery,
AL was not on our radar. So what
happened? What follows reads a bit like
one of those Christmas letters that families send out… better that than a fruit
cake I guess.
January 2011: It was
a new year and Emmett and I had made a resolution that we were going to make a
much needed change in our lives. We were
living at White Cliffs in a nice two-bedroom townhouse but were paying an exorbitant
$800+ a month for club and condo fees. This
did not include our mortgage payment. We were hemorrhaging money with no end in
sight. We had been trying to sell the
property for over two years with little to no interest. The only way out was to give the townhouse
back to the bank. We just weren’t sure
what the time line would be. It almost didn’t matter though. We were resolved to make a change. We decided we would look for a new place to
live and let the bank deal with their time line in their own time.
February 2011: We
heard from the bank that held our mortgage and they agreed to a deed in lieu
and notified us that we would have to move at some point soon. It could be eight weeks or it could be six
months. They didn’t have a move date for
us. Emmett and I had been looking for
suitable rentals and we finally found one that we could both agree on. It was smaller than we really liked (with no
storage space at all), but it was closer to the train station for me. As I was commuting a total of four hours a
day, even twenty minutes a day closer made all the difference in the world.
March 2011: We moved
into our new home (rental). It was quite
the effort. I had lived in my townhouse
for eight years so there was a lot of “stuff” to either move or divest myself of. Emmett and I had a lot of help from his
friends Brian and Thanh and from my friend Laura. They were virtual pack mules for us. They got us moved into our new home, set up
with a wood stove, unpacked and set up in no time at all.
During this time, my work situation was unraveling quickly. I had told my boss back in December that I would be looking for a new job as I could sense that the Department had changed and there really wasn’t a position for me there any longer. It was now three months later and my boss was anxiously awaiting my announcement that I would be moving on. It wasn’t happening as soon as either of us would like and she was beginning to apply pressure.
During this time, my work situation was unraveling quickly. I had told my boss back in December that I would be looking for a new job as I could sense that the Department had changed and there really wasn’t a position for me there any longer. It was now three months later and my boss was anxiously awaiting my announcement that I would be moving on. It wasn’t happening as soon as either of us would like and she was beginning to apply pressure.
April 2011: Emmett came home one day and announced to Kylie
and me that we would be getting a kitten.
He had wanted one for a long time.
We already had Pussen but Emmett felt that she needed a playmate. We had tried to introduce full grown cats to
Pussen before but with very little success.
Just picture the Tasmanian Devil x 2.
Not nice. I worried for the
safety of a kitten but Emmett assured me it would be fine. In mid-April he brought Koko home. She was just eight weeks old and cute as
could be. A little brindle (black, red,
blonde, white) with huge eyes and a propensity for “trilling.” Right away we took to Koko. She was great with her litter box. She liked to sleep on my chest at night and
she had the loudest purr any of us had ever heard. She was happy and so were we. Kylie loved her and it made her happy
too. After a week and half of Pussen
hissing and swatting at Koko (and Koko swatting back at Pussen), we came into
the living room one day to see the two of them cuddled up together
sleeping. Emmett was right. It would be fine.
BFF's
May 2011: In early May Emmett took a trip to Montgomery
for a Texas Steak House reunion. Years
ago he had worked at the local (now defunct) restaurant and made a ton of
friends. Back in the day, they were all
a bunch of young kids, partying and having a crazy time. Now they were full grown adults,
reconnecting, partying and having a crazy time.
This was a great trip for Emmett has reconnected with a lot of old
friends and started networking.
Directly
after returning from Montgomery, Emmett started a new job. He was a service and operations manager for
EMG Surgical. It was a good job as it
paid well and was a Monday – Friday, 8:00 – 5:00 job. Emmett had craved a job with normal hours for
a long time. We were both really
grateful for the timing of this job.
June 2011: While Emmett
was busy settling into his job, my boss was busy figuring out ways to make me
want to quit. I had been hired as a
grant manager back in 2007 but was suddenly being made to clean out offices,
dust file cabinets, move a library of books around and pretty much do what no
one else wanted to do. Clearly I was
being pressured to quit on my own. There was no cause to fire me. My reviews had always been above
average. My attendance was great. It turned out there was just a personality
conflict. My boss asked to meet with me
and offered me my same job but at a $10K salary cut and a one year (unprotected)
contract. Obviously, I declined her “deal.” At that point, my boss told me that I would
be laid off then as of September. This
was great news for me because I was not interested in continuing to work with
my boss. Harvard offers an amazing
layoff package and helps to find their laid off employees new jobs. I was thrilled. I was also thrilled to learn that the deed
in lieu had gone through earlier that month and that I was no longer a home
owner.
July 2011: Kiera
(Emmett’s oldest daughter) had arrived at the end of June and was settling into
hanging out with us for the summer. She
was really sad as she had left her boyfriend of two years behind in Indiana and
her mom was now moving to Montgomery, Alabama.
She tried really hard to keep her chin up but she was clearly bummed. Even trips to the beach didn’t help
much. Kylie was missing her mom who she
had only seen once during the past year.
I could feel that change needed to happen again but I didn’t know
exactly what that meant for us.
I took a little
weekend trip away (with eleven girlfriends) to Martha’s Vineyard for Shark
Weekend. The weekend was meant to help
me relax and get away from “real life.”
All I could think about that weekend though was how unhappy the girls
seemed and how I wanted to help. On the
way back from Martha’s Vineyard, as I stood on the bow of the ferry talking to
my friend Lisa, I suddenly had a revelation.
What if Emmett and I moved to Montgomery? As soon as I had the thought, I knew 100%
that we would. It just made sense. My job was ending; most of Emmett’s relatives
lived in Montgomery; most of the girls’ relatives lived in Montgomery too. If we moved to Montgomery, the girls would
have both of their parents nearby for the first time since they were small
children. Emmett spoke to his ex-wife
who agreed that if we moved to Montgomery, she would be agreeable to a 50/50
custody agreement. That sweetened the
pot.
August 2011: We had a
plan. We knew that sometime in either
December or January we would be moving to Montgomery, Alabama. We didn’t know all of the details but we
would work them out. We always did, didn’t
we? A fly in the ointment popped up. In
mid-August my boss called me into her office to tell me that she was not going
to lay me off and then proceeded to give me a warning for some imagined
infraction. It was clear to me that she
was now going to try and fire me. If she
fired me, I would not be able to use Harvard as a reference and I would have no
support from them at all. I was a bit
panicked to be truthful. This could
really mess with our plans. I called my
union representative and explained what was going on. I contacted Human Resources and got them
involved. I didn’t know what, if
anything could be done to help me but I was not going to sit by and just be unceremoniously
fired because someone didn’t like me.
September 2011:
Started with my 45th birthday party. So many friends and family came by the house
to wish me well. We grilled and cooked and drank and partied. We listened to great music and danced. By this point everyone knew our plans to
move. Some of our friends were really
supportive and some were vocal in the fact that they thought we were making a
mistake. Isn’t it always like that? You
want 100% support from everyone but there’s always someone who thinks they know
what’s best for you (and it doesn’t seem to be what you have planned). In
mid-September, my work situation cleared itself up. I would be leaving Harvard (after over six
years) in mid-October and it was on my own volition. I had worked it out so that I would be able
to move to Montgomery in late November without hardship. The move plans were on!
October 2011: Emmett
gave his notice to EMG Surgical. I gave
my notice to Sushi Joy. I finished up my
job at Harvard and left peacefully. It
was a weird feeling to walk out of the building I had been in for so long and
know that I was not going to return. As
I drove out of Boston on my last day of work, I opened my car window and shouted
“Woo Hoo!” at the top of my lungs. My
commuting days were over! Dealing with
an unhappy boss was over! I really was
starting a new life.
At the end of
October, Emmett and I took a long weekend trip to Montgomery to house
hunt. We thought we might want to rent something
in East Montgomery as that’s where the girls lived. During that weekend, we viewed about seven
homes in East Montgomery and nothing was right for us. If I liked it, Emmett hated it. If Emmett liked it, I hated it. We knew we had to have a house that we both
liked. We had transitioned from thinking
we might rent to thinking that if the right situation came along, we would
probably do an owner finance situation.
On Monday, just hours before we were going to board the
plane and go back to Massachusetts, my sister-in-law Judy suggested we look at
two houses on the street behind her house (which is in the Old Cloverdale part
of town). Both houses were for sale and
one was also available for rent. There
was no mention of owner finance. Emmett
and I resolved that if we had to rent, because owner finance was not available,
then we probably would. We took a look
at the first house which on the outside was beautiful but was a hot mess on the
inside. The price was amazing --
$60K! We could buy it without owner
finance but it would take us years to get the house into any kind of suitable living
condition. Then we looked at the house
next to it – the house that was also for rent.
As soon as I stepped
over the threshold, I knew in my heart of hearts that this was THE place. It was a yellow shingled Cape style house and
made me feel as though I were at home in Massachusetts. The house had hardwood floors, plantation
shutters, granite counter tops, huge bedrooms for everyone and even a writing
room for me. I did what no one should
ever do in front of a real estate agent; I ran around the house screaming about
everything I loved about it. The best
part though was that the house backed up to Tom and Judy’s backyard. What were the chances? It’s as though it were meant to be. The only question remained though, could we
afford it? We asked about renting the
house. It would be $1,250 a month; the
same as what we paid for the much smaller house in Massachusetts. The real estate agent asked if we were
interested in buying the house. We were
but our credit was shot. We filled out
the rental application and headed back to Massachusetts. We really hoped that we would be able to at
least rent this property. It was
beautiful.
As we got off the
plane in Boston, Emmett’s phone rang, it was the real estate agent and he let
us know that the owners were willing to finance us. The house was ours if we wanted it and for a
total of $950 a month. We could not
believe how well things were coming together.
November 2011: This
month flew by like crazy. Emmett
finished up his job at EMG Surgical and I finished up my job at Sushi Joy. I was officially unemployed. Basically I had worked non-stop since I had
been 14 years old and it just felt weird to no longer have to report to
someone. We were so busy packing though
that there was not a moment to relax. At
the same time, as though I was not busy enough, I had decided that I would
start on my life- long ambition to write.
I started this blog. Then one
day, the movers came and our house was empty. All of our belongings (other than
two suitcases full of clothes and our cats) were on their way to
Montgomery. We cleaned up our rental and
drove to our friend Laura’s house. She
would host us for our final week in Massachusetts.
Laura and her children were amazing. They never acted as
though we were putting them out at all.
We were treated like royalty in her home.
It was the best week ever spending all of that time with her and the
kids. If it was possible, we grew even
closer that week. I knew that when the
day came for me to board that plane (with a one way ticket), it would be really
hard on my friend. It was hard on
me. Laura is even more nostalgic than I
am, so I knew it would be hard. All I
can say about this is that it was one of my top two hardest goodbyes. We both shed a bucket of tears. Our friend Joe showed up at 6:00 a.m., as
requested, loaded Emmett, me and our cats into his truck and drove us to the
airport. I was so grateful for his
helpfulness and cheerful attitude that morning.
I don’t think I could have stood it if he had been a crabby morning
person.
A small note about traveling
with cats: Don’t. Ours were as good as could be expected
(thanks to kitty Xanax) and they survived the trip but it is super stressful on
both the owner and the cat. The poor
things were put into one storage container and didn’t see the light of day
(other than being pulled out by TSA to ensure that we had not packed a cat bomb
or something) for seven hours. I hope we never have to do it again.
I admit that when the plane
took off from Boston and I saw the beautiful, shining city disappear through the
clouds, I did shed a few tears. The
thought that I had formulated on the ferry on the warm July day had come to
fruition. I was Alabama bound.
December 2011: Emmett’s girls were thrilled that their dad
was now living in Alabama. They came
over the house to see what their new rooms looked like. The rooms were perfect for them. Kiera’s had loads of closet space and Kylie’s
had an attic playroom attached (a life-long wish of hers). The movers had not yet arrived and so the
house was empty. Our cars had not even
left Massachusetts as there had been a hiccup in the transportation plan. The household belongings would arrive in five
days and the cars a few days later. In
the meantime, we bought a King sized bed and put it in our empty bedroom. Tom and Judy lent us a few chairs and some
other household items so that we could at least stay in our house – albeit camping. Within the first two weeks of arriving in
Montgomery, we had our household basically set up and our cars. We even managed to land part time jobs
waiting tables at a local restaurant called Roux. Somehow we even managed to find a Christmas
tree farm and buy a gorgeous tree and decorate that as well.
We hosted Christmas in our new
home for most of Emmett’s family. It was
a beautiful day and everyone was super excited that we were there with
them. I tried to implement touches of my mother's Christmas (big tree, delicious food all day long, stockings, and taking turns picking out gifts to hand out). At the end of the weekend, several
of Emmett’s family members had exclaimed that it was the best Christmas that
they had in years. Kiera and Kylie were glowing from happiness. It was really great
to know that we had not only changed our lives for the better but our family’s
as well. We had hoped that we had made
the right choices throughout the year.
It was becoming more and more clear that our instincts were right. In one year we: moved twice, got a kitten,
got jobs, lost jobs, got jobs again, lost a house, bought a house, figured out the custody of
children and moved out of state… in no particular order.
Now: Here we are, one year after making our resolution to change. We are settling in nicely in our new
home. Emmett is actively seeking a full
time position in the restaurant management world. I am also looking for a new employment
opportunity but will be very selective in what it is I choose to do and who it
is I work for. We have come so far in this
past year. I have come to realize that I
do not want to have a four hour crazy commute (my commute now is less than five
minutes each way); I do not want to live in a house that I am paying out of my
eyes for and that has no storage space.
I know now that I have choices and that the choices I make can really
change my life. I’m not sure that I knew
the power of choices before this year. This year has shown that if you
really want to change, it is your choice whether you make it happen or
not. I cannot wait to see what this next
year brings. One thing I do know is that
it can’t possibly be as chalk full of changes as this year has been. It’s just not possible… or is it?
Our new home!
And your extended family grew by + 1 on Christmas Day
ReplyDeleteI know Karen! It's so exciting!
ReplyDelete