For quite a few years, Emmett and I have been very good
friends with Erika and Sunni. We were
even there for their wedding a few years ago.
The wedding was beautiful and it was a lot of fun for Emmett and me.
There was great food, fun music, wonderful people and just enough drama to make
it salacious. Personally, I was excited
because I got to tick another item off of my bucket list: attend a gay wedding. Of course, I had always thought more in terms
of attending a gay guy wedding because, let’s be honest, it would have to be fabulous
right? Still, Erika and Sunni really
rose to the occasion and threw a bash to be proud of.
Emmett and Erika are particularly close. They both love beer… Erika brews it and
Emmett is happy to taste it for her.
They are always the last ones standing at any party. They are both outgoing and have never met a
stranger. Erika is a medic and Emmett
was one in the Air Force. They are both
suckers for animals, children and old people.
They are both a little outrageous and don’t care who knows it. They are like twins separated at birth.
Still it came as a bit of a surprise last year when Erika
and Sunni asked us if Emmett would be a sperm donor. Erika explained that they would use Sunni’s
eggs and Emmett’s sperm and Sunni would carry the baby. They thought Emmett would be a great choice
because Emmett, in their opinion, is the one guy friend they have who most
resembles Erika in terms of personality, plus he’s attractive. It was flattering for Emmett.
I was surprised at my
reaction. I would have thought I would
be outraged that some other women would be interested utilizing Emmett’s sperm
with the thought of having a baby.
Honestly, I was touched that they trusted both of us enough to share
such an important piece of their lives with us.
They told us that we would have no official responsibility towards the
child but that should this work, we could be as involved, or not, as we
chose. Emmett and I talked seriously
about it and decided that we would prefer to be considered a favored aunt and
uncle and be included in as many life events as possible with the child.
A lot of people might ask why I didn’t mind since I have not
had children with Emmett. The answer is
simple. We tried and it didn’t
happen. We have left it in God’s hands
and apparently we are not meant to have children together. Had Emmett refused to have children with me,
I think I would have felt differently. I
might have felt resentful. In this case
though, I honestly understood. Erika and
Sunni could not have a baby without help.
The plan had always been that Sunni would carry the
baby. Erika was happy with the plan
because she abhorred the thought of being pregnant, much like a guy might. In fact, we would all laugh at the thought of
a pregnant Erika. It would be like
seeing a guy pregnant. It would be weird. Although Erika is a woman, she embraces her
masculine side. She loves wearing jeans
and t-shirts. She wears baseball caps
and loves sports and beer. She never
wears make up but does wear her hair cut very short. She is strikingly attractive but chooses to
downplay it. When Erika and Sunni
married, Sunni wore a beautiful wedding gown and Erika wore a white suit. The only time I’ve ever seen Erika in a dress
is when she dressed like a woman for Halloween.
So, when after much testing, it was determined that Sunni could not
carry a baby to term, it was decided that Erika would have to be the birth
mother.
I wasn’t there in the doctor’s office with Sunni and Erika
but I can only imagine, first their despair at the news that Sunni could not
carry the baby and then second, the realization that Erika would have to carry the
baby. To Erika’s credit, she took it like
a champ. She rallied. She saw the humor in the situation.
A lot of time passed and Emmett and I heard nothing from the
girls. We had moved to Alabama and we
thought that perhaps they had either abandoned the project or else decided that
someone closer would be more convenient.
Imagine our surprise when a few months ago, Erika and Sunni reiterated
their interest in utilizing Emmett’s sperm… especially since now it would have
to involve UPS and some very expensive, and strange, shipments.
The girls sent us a Styrofoam shipping package, some small
vials (which contained some cloudy liquid solution), and an ice pack in
preparation for the day when the call would come and Emmett would too. The plan was that Erika would contact Emmett
when she ovulated and Emmett “produce” and then rush to UPS for the last
shipment of the day with first possible delivery to Erika in the morning.
A few months went by and timing proved a little challenging
as Erika would ovulate when Emmett had no access to the baby kit. Finally though this past month, Erika
contacted Emmett that she was ovulating.
The timing was great. Emmett had
a break in the day and was able to lend a hand.
The problem was though he had to get to work and didn’t have time to go
to UPS. I had to do it.
So, realizing the strangeness of the situation, I took the
Styrofoam box which had been carefully packaged with the now-full vial and ice
pack, to UPS. I just knew they were
going to ask me what the contents were.
I just knew I was going to have to find another UPS to use in the
future. Even though it was embarrassing,
I decided to use humor to cover up the mortification. When I clerk asked what was in the package, I
stated “sperm. My husband’s actually.” The young guy tried to remain professional
but his eyebrows shot up. The UPS store
manager happened to be nearby and she told me that they have been known to ship
bull sperm. “Well,” I told her, “he’s
not a bull, but he is bullheaded.”
When I left UPS, I called Emmett to let him know his sperm
was on the way. He was relieved but his
thoughts were elsewhere. “Listen, I’m trying
to train Kim and she needs to make a pudding.
We are out of eggs. I need
four. Can you deliver them to me at the
restaurant?”
I stopped short. “Are
you serious?” I asked. “First you want me to drop off sperm and now eggs?” Emmett laughed, “Yeah, I guess so.” I shook my head. “I feel like the advance team for the stork.” We both chuckled at the bazar circumstances.
Later that week Erika texted and said that she should know by
Halloween whether or not she is pregnant, and if so the baby’s due date would
be the 4th of July. As of this post, we don't know what the outcome will be but we do know that a universal
truth has proven true: making a baby
is the fun(ny) part.